I observed something today, which seemed quite mundane, mostly because the underlying truth has been repeated so often it is part of the common knowledge base. What I observed is that, if I respond different then I have in the past, then the person I'm in dialog with changes the way they respond back to me, without me doing anything about the other person! It seemed like magic, to observe such a phenomenon.

Then I also observed the converse when two people who knew each other well were having a dialog. One person expressed something, which had behind it typical patterns of the individual, then the other person did the same, using their typical pattern. After this, there was no dialog as each person was identified with their reaction, feeling justified in how they saw things and using the occasion to express their disappointment of the other for not understanding them. So I saw that neither person was truly relating to the other, they had just fallen into old reactionary patterns coming out of their conditioned pasts. I could see they were doing this because they each felt misunderstood and because of this then they felt the need to defend their point of view using the ways they had learned in the past to do so. I saw that as long as nothing new was input into the exchange, then this dialog would be destined to repeat.

As I saw it, neither person bothered to take the opportunity to question their own behavior and what might have provoked the reaction in the other. So you see the simplicity of it? If we behave the same way that we have in the past, then we will always get the same reaction back in dialog, and if we behave different then we will get a different result. It's so true that we create our own reality. I also realize it's quite easy to go beyond this by taking the step to find out about 'our own behavior' and then make a change from what we found out. Your world and all the people around you and how they respond to you will change! It's all in our hands.

The first step is to not blame, judge or critique the other's reaction, it is their reaction and so we can just accept it how it is and 'enter from here'. How we respond to the other's reaction is what is in our control. If we feel the other is reacting, then we should remain open to question the possibility that we have triggered their reaction through our own reactive patterns. If we have the desire to find out about our conditioned ways, then we can question the other about the 'flare-up' with further dialog, using words such as: "I feel that you are angry with me after I spoke, but I don't understand what I have said to provoke such a reaction in you. Can you tell me why you are feeling this way?"

So you see, we can alter 'our reality' with only a few words, but we have to have in place the desire to really want to find out about 'what makes us tick' and to do this we have to accept the other's expression exactly how it is. Life gives us many such 'free opportunities' and we should take advantage of them. Try this little exercise out for yourself, and then you might also see magic happening before your very eyes...

Betsy Are

I left my conventional job as a computer programmer analyst over seven years ago, and sinec have been learning to live sustainable and independent, off the track of the normal consuming rat race. I have been participating in poetry and discussion mailing lists and forums, on the Internet for years, using this medium as a tool for my own growth process.

Primarily I am interested in life - in making observations about happenings, asking questions to discover what could be the reason, whether it is a happening inside or outside of myself. Then taking the next step to make a change in my own response, according to the answer that I received. I've been practicing meditation daily for many years, and find that each day it overflows more into my daily life.

I have no philosophical or religious belief system that I follow, unless you could say that living one's life to the best of one's capability would fit into a category! I have a big interest in human behavior and watching people. My vision is to do something creative to help change humanity, furthering all on our growing together towards oneness. So I would say that I hold the noble mission to help save the earth and mankind, but I realize that all of us hold this mission in our own hands, by continuously challenging our worn out habits and patterns of living.

I realize that one of my best vehicles to do so is to share my self-expression along the way, and this I do via writing articles, photography, poetry and talking with others. The dire situation of growing health problems, mental illness and the sickness of the planet is screaming at us to find creative solutions SOON, asking us to personally transform in many areas including: relationships, sustainable living, cottage industries, artistic self-expression, healing ourselves and becoming independent of authorities. Gradually by taking a step at a time to change our habitual ways, we will heal and our overall level of consciousness will rise.

Approaching my fiftieth year, I start to move into manifesting my vision. In the next year I will write a book on healing our body, on alternative healing systems using energy and sound therapies, develop a non-profit trust to help promote the building of community and also for alternative healing. I also have in the works to make a transformation tarot deck using poetry and photos I have made. I also have an idea to help people with the perception of the problem of ego, using audio, video and poetry,