One of the reasons that people divorce is because they find themselves married to people who are very different from the ones they were dating. For example, when Sara was dating Bill, he was the perfect gentleman and very helpful with her household chores. She on the other hand was always smiling, sweet smelling and attentive to his every move. After they were married, Bill turned into a couch potato and a slob, while she turned into a nag who walked around in disgusting house dresses. The truth is, they were both always that way. They just refused to show that side to each other because they didn't want to lose the relationship. It often seems like marriage is the key to unleash everyone's worst behavior and bad habits. Folks, if you're aiming to make your happy ever after last your lifetimes and not just a couple of years, you need to start as you mean to go on. This means being true to yourself and to each other. Everybody has expectations and non-negotiables. The sooner you know which is which, the better it will be for your marriage. Don't blame her if she becomes very independent if every time she asks for your assistance you answer with, "Later, honey. I'm in the middle of a game". She'll either leave it, so it stays broken, learn to fix it herself or find someone else who will. If she can do everything for herself, what will she need you for? Gentlemen, she doesn't want to be superwoman. She wants you to be the man of the house. She wants you to work together as needed and not be put off when there's a TV program on air. Communication is the key here. It doesn't mean the, "Well he can get it himself" line with attitude. It means seriously discussing what you are willing to do for each other, including chores and finances, and what is just utterly unacceptable. You'll get to know each other better in the process and have a more stable foundation for your married life. |
