The Scene: Your house cat, following her natural feline instinct, has spotted something moving which does not seem to have permission to trespass. She spends an hour or so deciding what to do, then suddenly springs to life, snags a cockroach with one claw and puts it in her mouth to save for later. The Dilemma: Your natural human desire to protect all life impels you to get the cockroach out of the cats mouth and set it free to procreate, but the cat has firm opinions, sharp claws and a narrow range of understanding. One wrong move on your part and its curtains for the cockroach and surgery for your fingers. The Standoff: You ponder how to get closer to the cat without precipitating a hysterically emotional hostage environment. The cat ponders what it is you are feeling; pride in her accomplishment, jealousy of her possession; should she purr or get off the spot? Another hour goes by with almost no action on either side. La cucaracha twitches occasionally. The Procedure: Fortunately, you remember that you keep a really, really, really small hypodermic gun in the medicine cabinet, along with several really, really, really small tranquilizer darts. This stuff has to work very fast so that the cat will not crunch the cockroach, intentionally or in reaction, but it must not be so strong as to kill the cat. You find your moment and take your shot. Bam! The cat is down, the cockroach falls to the ground, stunned but alive. You scoop it up with a file card or PDA and find an empty plastic container or match box with a lid. You pierce the lid so the creature can breathe. Cockroaches can live a long time without eating, but you probably should fill a thimble or a pill bottle cap with water and place it in a corner. After a week of rest and mild exercise, the insect should be ready to fend for itself. The Finale: The cat wakes up and believes she has only dreamed about the cockroach, so she holds no grudge. Everything is back to normal. Much of this plan can be applied to cat/mouse incidents, dog/cat incidents or cow/grass incidents. Thank you for saving lives. |
