Major University Research Leads to Rash of Memory Foam Bed Thefts

Researchers at southern California's IGU have released a study indicating that men who own a memory foam bed from the manufacturer Sleep Aid are more than twice as likely to score with chicks, when compared to men who own outdated inner spring beds. The effect is particularly profound on men for whom dating is usually difficult. Since the release of the study, there has been a rash of thefts at mattress stores across the country, mostly carried out by adolescent males with chronic acne and middle aged men who live with their mothers.

Scientists working in the field of social psychology have long known that Sleep Aid memory foam beds have powerfully persuasive properties. However, the profundity of what scientists are calling "The Sleep Aid Effect" was not fully known until the release of the university's groundbreaking study. Says research coordinator Dr. Phelps Carter, "for years there has been substantial evidence to suggest that Sleep Aid beds could get you a lot of action, but we were simply unprepared for the sheer breadth of their effectiveness."

News of the research has led to a rash of often brazen Sleep Aid memory foam bed thefts across the country. Said one store clerk who wished to remain anonymous, "before I knew what was happening, five teenage boys had come running into the display area. One of them mumbled something about how they were 'so getting to second base with this thing', and they just picked up the mattress and ran." The suspects were unarmed and were quickly apprehended by police in the mall parking lot, while trying to strap the mattress to the roof of their mom's station wagon.

Exactly why Sleep Aid memory foam beds have such a powerful effect on women is still not fully known. Head researcher for the IGU study, Dr Janice Hawkings said while there is still much to learn about the precise causes of this phenomenon, "we can point to some demonstrated causalities, and their troubling effects." Dr. Hawkings worries that the "The Sleep Aid Effect" is so powerful, in some cases it has caused women to make choices they otherwise might not.

As Dr Hawkings explains, "owning a memory foam bed is still somewhat unusual. They function as an interesting conversation piece, and so many women are curious to see one in person. Unfortunately, once the potential mate has entered the owner's bedroom and felt the luxurious comfort and spectacular support that Sleep Aid beds offer, certain neurological processes are interrupted, leaving her feminine wiles significantly diminished." It is this process which is leading a large number of intelligent and attractive women to succumb to what Dr. Hawkings calls the "Out of Their League Effect," causing the victim to begin making out with men who would normally fall well below their standards.

Indeed, the statistics bear out such an assessment. According to the study, out of fifty female participants classified as "Dime Pieces", or perfect 10s, more than seventy percent were dating men classified as "Level III Tools" those who rated below the 4 mark on a 1-10 scale.

The research indicates that owning a Sleep Aid bed can help the owner make 53% more personal connections, without traditional courtship rituals like expensive dinners and drinks at the bar. This is quite good news for men classified as having "little or no game", an estimated 32 % of the male population. Dr Carter explains it this way, "For many people, a memory foam bed is a considerable novelty. As such, they can act as an effective catalyst for conversation and thusly, for the initiation of courtship. This enables the wooer, on average, to achieve in-bedroom status with a 28% reduction in alcohol expenditure and only modest culinary offerings."

Scientists at IGU encourage women who encounter Sleep Aid beds to use caution, and bear in mind that the heavenly softness and almost decadent weightless comfort of Sleep Aid beds has little or no relation to the men that own them. While any Sleep Aid owner is likely to be intelligent, having purchased the best sleep surface known to man, he may not necessarily make the perfect mate.

For more information on "The Sleep Aid Effect," and the world's finest bedding surface, visit www.A1mattress.com.