One of the most devastating experiences I went through was having an ectopic pregnancy (actually, I had two). Most ectopic pregnancies occur in the fallopian tube, and occassionally, the tube can be salvaged, but more often than not, the damage to the tube is so severe, it must be surgically taken out. If you can catch the ectopic early enough, it is possible to treat it medically. My first ectopic had to be removed laparoscopically, however for my second, I was given a drug called "Methotrexate" which stops the pregnancy from growing in the tube so it can expel naturally.

Aside from the inevitable depression that follows most miscarriages (I've read that up to 70% of women suffer some form of depression following a miscarriage), If you're over 40, and have had an ectopic pregnancy, you are most likely saying to yourself, "I don't have time for this!" You want to try again right away, but you're still recovering from surgery. When I was going through fertility treatments, my doctor told me I had to wait until I had 3 full menstrual cycles before we could try again. What'? Three Months'?That sounded like an eternity. Even if your ectopic pregnancy is treated medically with Methotrexate, you are warned not to concieve for a full three months after being given this drug because it could cause birth defects if you conceive while it is in your system.

If you are trying to get pregnant naturally, you feel like the removal of one of your fallopian tubes is a major setback because it can essentially cut your chances of conceiving in half. But as long as you still have one tube, you can still get pregnant. Interestingly, my mother's first pregnancy was ectopic and she went on to have three children. And, even though I was over the age of 40, I conceived 4 times with only one fallopian tube. So, optimally it would great to have both tubes, but you can still do just fine with one.

So, what should you do if you've had an ectopic pregnancy?

Don't think this is the end of the world. Yes, it is a setback, but as long as you still have one functioning tube, you can still get pregnant.

Take care of yourself. Know that you can try again. Even if you're in your 40's, just the fact that you got pregnant should be encouraging. You can use this 3 months before you try again to get your body ready. Eat foods that promote hormonal balance and overall health. Mentally go through the greiving process so you're receptive to trying again.

Get emotional support. Join a support group, or join an on-line support forum. There are many women out there who've gone through this experience. It is very comforting to talk to others who know what you're going through. It's also encouraging to see others in your situation succeed.