How confused can the youth of today be. OK no generation has had it all, but the Baby Boomers, especially the early ones came pretty damn close. Unfortunately we have opened a real can of worms. Every generation since has complained that they have got it tough. The trouble started when we began having children, and decided that we were going to be the enlightened parents, and we were going to rewrite parenting. We were going to make our kids our friends, and we did not care about any consequences, whatever it took we would do it. Unfortunately during the time we were having so much fun, free love etc.., the very foundation of relationships was being eroded. A culture then started that made separation acceptable, and the disjointed family became quite commonplace. Now people were faced with bringing up siblings from different parents under the same roof. In hindsight, I know that all the families I knew when I was growing up were not happy, but there always seemed a sense of unity. I only recall one boy whose parents had a divorce when I was at school, and he went from being an A grade student, to a rebel almost overnight. In contrast one of my friends mother was violently murdered, and although she had a terrible time in the following year, her attitude and personality ended up pretty balanced. That is in total contrast to the boy who carried on trying to prove everything was alright, while keeping his real emotions hidden. Of course I am not trying to draw any parralells between murder and divorce, but it seems that because the girl was dealing with something that had closure, in an obscure way, she was able to come to terms with her grief and carry on. The reminders of divorce however, are for life, and the children of divorced parents have daily evidence that someting went wrong. The question they all ask themselves at some point is, "Am I to blame in some way?" The thing that annoys me most about divorce is the amount of people who say, " It's alright it has not affected the children." There seems to be no commitment to creating a stable relationship for our children, and in a society that makes getting a licence to drive a car, more difficult than entering a relationship, to raise children and share your life together, is it any wonder? At this point I should make it clear that I am not writing this as a payback on some failed relationship, or for any other reason, I have in fact been very happy with the same partner for 40 years. Have there been problems? " Yes" Did you work through them? "Yes". When our child was five we decided to marry, for no other reason than it would be easier for her at school etc. rather than having to keep explaining why Mum and Dad had different surnames. I fully appreciate that not all relationships can work, but there is definitely an attitude today that says it is OK to divorce or seperate. The welfare state will pick up the tab and allow the parents to live apart and assist the kids to lead two seperate lives, with the new Mums and Dads. What messages are we sending to the kids? we glorify people having extamarital affairs, and have numerous glossy magazines, devoted to hunting down the stories and publishing them, in the name of journalism. I am not sure how many other countries are this stupid, but in Australia we actually pay children an allowance if they run away from home. I think the payment is means tested, and the children have to have a really valid reason for taking the action, possibly something as terrible as my parents made me be home by 10.00 o clock, or something equally unfair as, they made me clean my room. We had a recent situation reported where a young lad with cancer could not get a disability allowance, but the night before, we were told of a young lad getting $ 485 per fortnight, because he had run away to live with his girlfriend. As I give talks at various schools I am amazed at how many level headed kids there are, it dumfounds me, where are they getting their knowledge? They are surrounded by confused messages, criminals do not seem to be punished, the naughtier you are, the more you seem to be rewarded, in a perverse sort of pacification ritual. We as adults, seem to always be looking at helping the misguided, rebellious, anti social and often violent elements of youth, and pay scant regard to the better behaved children in our society. Why do we insist on sending out these messages, and what is the inevitable outcome? If I hear one more person, give he/she came from a broken home, as an excuse for beating up a pensioner, or stealing a car and killing someone, I think I will scream. Because most political systems, have the need for re election after a few years, no one is prepared to take any action that has not got immediate results. This means that this situation can only get worse, because the only way to even start to put things right, is to re instate the value of the family, and make sure that people who break the laws of society are suitably punished. Both of these things are not great vote getters. OR ARE THEY? |
