Is your child not enjoying school, or merely getting by at the elementary level? It is critical you connect in what is going on with them. If investment by parents is not happening, expect the phone calls from the teachers who spend several hours a day around your child. The investment of time can be only a few minutes of interacting with your child in areas of what their lives are about. Not your life and how they are a part of it. Its their life and how you are a part, a huge part of theirs. Get interested. Empower, encourage and most of all use empathetic support. Be ready to catch them as they stumble and fall physically and emotionally. Have fun with them. Laugh together often. All these experiences will move them through adversity and challenges, and prepare them for the middle and high school age experiences they will face and achieve. THATS THE INVESTMENT! The rewards are immeasurable. Mirror what they are saying to you so they know you understand them. Resist the punishment/reward rut of raising your child. When their attempts are not successful it is important for them to associate the effort and the end result as experience. Be careful when rewarding with food, money or material things. Instead reward with identifying how it makes them feel, how they used there intelligence in their success, how the outcome affects themselves and others. Punishments that affect their self worth by making them feel worthless or that they have disappointed you can be detrimental. Explain why the behavior is unacceptable in a maximum of 2 sentences for the young ages. Keep it fun, so they will want to keep trying. Its all practicing so as they become adolescents and young adults your parenting skills will have further developed and the new challenges will be overcome together. Grow with them as they discover their exceptional gifts of their lives. Youll learn a lot about yourself and them. Your biggest rewards and fulfillment will come from the relationships you foster with your child. When my children were born, I was blessed with healthy beautiful children. I thank GOD earnestly and often for this blessing. I truly believed at the time, and still do, that they are a blessing. Even when they were babies and toddlers I began telling them how special they were and why. Not hard to do. Think of all the ways you can tell them how special they are. What is it that you would have loved said to you? That you were smart, kind, loved, capable of all things, an angel on earth. My children got tired of me asking, Do you know how special you are? Eventually when I asked theyd roll their eyes and cover their ears and say Oh no, not again! Yes, we know, we know. Brats! Now as young adults I ask them every so often, they get a smile on their face and say, Yes mom, I know. and sometimes they say, Yes, mom, but tell me again. Whatever your children do they turn and look at you to show you. See me? Watch me? What is this? and the infinite, Why, Why, Why? And by the way, that never stops. It just changes form. Its your opportunity to answer their questions, tell them how smart they are, or that is was kind of them, or how lucky you are to have them. They will forever want you to see, watch and give perspective to the whys. In fact, isnt there someone right now that you reach out to share these kinds of things? Additional children, and less time too can take away from the magic moments of interaction your child needs from you. Use the team of available resources. They can get this esteem building attention from spouses, older siblings, and dont forget those grandparents, as that is their main purpose and joy. Everyone is following your example, you are the leader. You watch and learn, speak and teach. So it begins in the beginning. Investment in children is easy. Anytime you are around a child and have consistency with them the best way to show them, is to be the example. All the books, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors and children experts will tell you. Example, Example, Example. If your attention span with your child is short, how is their attention span? Do you watch TV too much, plug in the DVD as a babysitter too often? A typical school day does not involve television, it involves interactivity. Does your child see you reading, being kind, compassionate, loving and being loved? When faced with a challenge or things arent going your way, do you scream and shout at anyone within distance, throw things, sulk or walk out? When your child is faced with a challenge do they react this way also? Are you teaching them the "Blame Game", of how you're never at fault, or do you deal with challenges by figuring out how and why it will be different next time? Respect your child and their age and act accordingly. Be conscious of how you are introducing them to the world beyond just their own. They are your incredible blessing and greatest investment. Children. Cynthia LeQuire-Dunn |
