Life is full of competition -- even in childhood. Kids compete for good grades, the attention of their parents and teachers, and even to get picked for 'the right team' in gym class. There's nothing wrong with encouraging healthy competition in your children. It can teach kids to perform at their best while encouraging teamwork and fostering a strong work ethic. Competition can teach valuable lessons about discipline, preparation and sportsmanship. Best of all, it can help to prepare them for other challenges they will face in life.

But the key word here is "healthy."

We've all witnessed unhealthy competition: the over-involved parents who embarrass their children by shouting from the sidelines during every game, or the parents who are disappointed when their child fails to bring home the first place ribbon, the best grade on the test or the lead in the school play.

Sometimes, adults don't accept that our kids won't always win. Unfortunately, when that happens, we can do more than damage their self-image... we may just be teaching them an unhealthy, win at-all-costs attitude. And, as adults, we know that such an attitude doesn't seem to serve anyone well.

Winning and losing both have valuable lessons to teach. Parents who remember that can give their kids a competitive advantage.

Andrea Patten

Throughout her life, Andrea Patten has distinguished herself as a creative problem-solver. She particularly enjoys finding practical commonalities between apparently 'dissimilar' services, ideas or methods, making them all stronger in the process. In her career as a licensed addictions counselor she found a niche in program development helping organizations bring such innovations as bilingual programming, family treatment and networking for comprehensive client care.

When her son was young, she took a break from human services and studied marketing in one of her father's companies. There she discovered more similarities. "Whether it's a product, a service or a message it needs to be presented in a way that it will serve its intended audience."

A few years later, Andrea was probably as surprised as anyone to find herself once again serving families with substance abuse issues. Hired to assist a child protection organization improve interventions for kids at risk due to parental substance abuse, she became part of a team that provided home-based services to families,and developed training to enhance social workers' knowledge of addiction and addiction counselors' ability to work with family violence issues. She provided leadership, training and support for a network of "healthy-living" foster homes. She ultimately became the director of an agency where she had the opportunity to improve services to people of all ages suffering the effects of family violence.

"Teaming with my father to write 'What Kids Need...' was a tremendous growth opportunity for me. It took me out of a familiar role and let me try to reach families in an entirely new manner. My favorite part of direct service work was always helping people to identify and connect with the well of optimism and strength inside of them. I think that this book can provide hope to families facing a wide variety of struggles."